What the world eats

I’m pretty sure this is old news, but Time Magazine is running excerpts of the book “Hungry Planet: What the World Eats” on its website.

My favourite is the Ayme family from Ecuador, pictured above. It makes me wonder: are pork pie hats mandatory in Ecuador? If so, I’m booking a flight today.

This is my pork pie hat. There are many like it, but this one is MINE. My pork pie hat is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My pork pie hat without me is useless. Without my pork pie hat, I am useless.

One thing that’s concerning me is the lack of processed foods in that picture. Surely they’d have a Subway or a McDonalds or something? Maybe one of those sacks is just full of spice burgers, I dunno.

Quick confession: A few days ago, I actually Googled “KFC Rome Italy”. I am weak.

Paris Hilton sent back to jail

Maybe if the BBC was a bit more creative in their news reporting, I’d give more of a shit about current events. For example, on the Paris Hilton case:

news.bbc.co.uk says

She arrived in handcuffs and cried throughout the court session.

The judge said that she would have to serve her full 45-day sentence.

“It’s not right!” she shouted in response, before calling out to her mother, who was at the court.

thesuperficial.com says

Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants.

Therefore, thesuperficial.com > news.bbc.co.uk

QED.

Roman Bread Situation: Update

Since I last spoke about the Roman bread situation, there have been a couple of interesting developments. First, I have found a bread that is capable of holding a slice of ham, a slice of cheese and a slice of tomato without having everything spilling over the sides.

Hooray!

Except where’s the fucking crust?! Did the bakery not get the note about the crust? I know that there’s a lot of people out there who aren’t fans of the crust on sandwiches and would probably welcome the pre-packed removal of the crust. To these people I say: sack up and realise that a sandwich without crust is only half a sandwich.

But there’s another problem. You probably can’t see it from either of my awful, awful pictures, but each of these small packs contains five slices of bread. Five.

This is kinda like the issue of burgers coming in packs of eight and burger buns coming in packs of six, except you can always eat a burger without a bun, and burger buns don’t have to be used exclusively for burgers. Actually, it’s not like the burger/buns situation at all. It would be more like burgers coming in packs of eight and burger buns coming in packs of three and a half.

Rather than work myself into an early grave giving out about the busted logic behind stuffing five slices of bread into a pack clearly made for sandwiches, I’m off to cry myself to sleep and dream of once again having a loaf of Brennan’s bread.